"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize