Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
