when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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