I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
