You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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