can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Randomize
