And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize