He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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