so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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