He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
