talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
