sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
