I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
