using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
