i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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