i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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