Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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