oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
