I'm pants shitting drunk right now
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
