VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
