I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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