No stitches, just platelets and will power
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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