I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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