Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Randomize
