It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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