so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
me + whiskey = a bad person
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I think people are normalizing furries
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
