You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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