do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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