I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
