I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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