ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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