hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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