Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize