I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
