My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Randomize
