you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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