There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
