mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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