your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
