We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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