Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
