Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize