"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
