ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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