She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
