i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize