Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
