so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
