god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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