U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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