Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I have demons in me.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
