people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize