Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
