Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
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