I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
