Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Randomize
