I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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