What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Randomize
