haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
They should really pass out barf bags in church
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
