Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
