Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize