I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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