im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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