I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Operation Purity has been aborted
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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