White coat. Heels.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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