when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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