Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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