is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
