after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
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