why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
